Grandma Bootylicious - My Idea for a Sitcom

Picture this -

65 year old Eleanor is recently widowed from her husband of 50 years. It's time for her to get back into the game! So, she has an extreme makeover! She dyes her hair, gets a sexy new wardrobe, and tries to learn what the youngens are up to these days.

She starts using Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Myspace and Blogger.

Types of updates include:

"That enema went smoother than expected!"
"This Gaga fellow needs to find some clothes."
"Teach me how to dougie you whipper snappers!"
"Just saw Two Girls, One Cup - which reminds me - where's my suppository?"
"I better behave myself around this Bieber kid - he's total jail bait."

And blog posts like, "Adult Diapers v.s. Catheters" and "Gay Nurses - My New Gal Pals"

Each episode is all about her and her 5 grandchildren and all their misadventures.
More to come!



- Jara

Oh, Disney Princess. You dirty, dirty whore.

Watching how empowered the princess was in "Tangled" and how independent the princess was in "The Princess and the Frog" I couldn't help but think about how whiny and bitchy those older Disney princess' are. Here's my opinion on each one.

1. Snow White (Snow White) - You were so beautiful you had to be murdered. I mean it's the only way. So, she walks into the lives of seven men, tells them how disgusting they are, and moves in only to clean the cottage and gay up the place. Well, at least she knew her place right?

2. Jasmine (Aladdin) - While at times you were fierce and the H.B.I.C. (Head Bitch In Charge), you weren't above throwing all that way to sex it up with Jafar and create a diversion. Amazing how Aladdin had to prove himself MORE after you found out he wasn't rich. But, you were smart enough to see through his act so good for you Glen Coco.

3. Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) - Uh, other then the fact that your character was created to lack the mental capacity to fight off a witch, nothing was really your fault. I'm not quite sure how you fell in love so fast. Being 16, your hormones must have drove you nuts.

4. Ariel (The Little Mermaid) - You are the WORST offender on this list. You fell in love with someone without even ever talking to him, them you get some voodoo plastic surgery and gave up your amazing singing voice all to be with a guy you don't even know. Not to mention you risked an entire underwater kingdom for it. I guess she proved one thing - men fall in love with woman you know when to keep quiet.

Now, I give major props to Belle (The Beauty and the Beast). She truly fell in love with an animal and made a true man come from inside his awful soul - and at the end of the day any woman who can do that for any man, well, she's an amazing lady. Also, he fell in love with her and wanted to change for her, too.

I'm so glad Disney has created and greatly improved their female characters. Unfortunately, from a recent article I read, it it may be a while before we see another princes movie.

Also, I added the picture with the men of Disney for shits an giggles.

Please comment and me know what you think.

- Jara

Thing about Pokemon is...

You know what I realized? Pokemon is like dog fights or cock fights! Here's what happens - you get an animal that is forced to live in small living quarters, then you train the animal to fight! And not only for sport - no that would be piontless. Let's fight them for cash and expensive metal!

I mean, imagine it - poor little Pikachu having rocks throw at it because it's his weakness? The fuck?

And little Charmander - apparently if it's flame goes out it dies -

"Squirtles use Hydro Pump!"

And they fight and fight and fight until the faint and are forced to go to hosiptals - medical care must be cheap in Japan.

And if that wasn't enough you go on to travel the wild to capture and enslave other Pokemon and you train them to fight. Picture a cute little Pidgey skipping along and all of a sudden - a big as lighting bolt gets you and next thing you know your forced to fight. Not to mention I really think Pokeballs really just add insult to injury.

Stop Pokemon abuse now! *Que Sara Mclachlan ballad*

- Jara